Lesson 1 of 11
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50 (+1 from Dr. Stall!) “You’re So Old That…” Jokes

Here’s a list of 50 light-hearted “You’re so old that…” jokes. Remember, jokes like these can be fun when shared among friends who understand the context and have a good sense of humor, but it’s important to always be sensitive to others’ feelings.

  1. You’re so old that you remember when the Dead Sea was just feeling a little sick.
  2. You’re so old that your birth certificate is written in Roman numerals.
  3. You’re so old that your childhood pets were dinosaurs.
  4. You’re so old that you knew Captain Crunch when he was still a private.
  5. You’re so old that you sat next to Moses in kindergarten.
  6. You’re so old that your social security number is 1.
  7. You’re so old that you remember when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.
  8. You’re so old that you still owe Fred Flintstone a food tab.
  9. You’re so old that you remember when milkshakes were hand-cranked.
  10. You’re so old that you knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
  11. You’re so old that your memory is in black and white.
  12. You’re so old that you remember when rainbows were black and white.
  13. You’re so old that you have an autographed Bible.
  14. You’re so old that you remember when the sun was a baby.
  15. You’re so old that you were a waitress at the Last Supper.
  16. You’re so old that you knew the Big Bang personally.
  17. You’re so old that you remember when emojis were called “hieroglyphs”.
  18. You’re so old that your first car was a chariot.
  19. You’re so old that you watched “Antiques Roadshow” and saw something you threw out.
  20. You’re so old that your candles cost more than your birthday cake.
  21. You’re so old that you remember when Twitter was just bird noise.
  22. You’re so old that you knew Netflix when it was just a fishing term.
  23. You’re so old that you used to hand-crank your internet.
  24. You’re so old that your yearbook is carved in stone.
  25. You’re so old that your favorite toy was a stick and a rock.
  26. You’re so old that you remember when pizza was invented.
  27. You’re so old that you knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro.
  28. You’re so old that you remember when dirt was invented.
  29. You’re so old that you went to school with George Washington.
  30. You’re so old that your first pet was a saber-toothed tiger.
  31. You’re so old that you still use a sundial to tell the time.
  32. You’re so old that your yearbook picture is a painting.
  33. You’re so old that you remember when fire was a new discovery.
  34. You’re so old that you were a tour guide for the pyramids.
  35. You’re so old that your photo albums are cave paintings.
  36. You’re so old that you remember when maps were drawn by hand… because there were no printers.
  37. You’re so old that your high school reunion was held at a museum.
  38. You’re so old that you remember when cell phones were called “letters”.
  39. You’re so old that you still have a Blockbuster membership card.
  40. You’re so old that you remember when Wi-Fi was just a funny sound you made.
  41. You’re so old that you watched “Star Wars” on opening day… in a galaxy far, far away.
  42. You’re so old that you have a drawer full of VHS tapes but nothing to play them on.
  43. You’re so old that you remember when calculators were called “abacuses”.
  44. You’re so old that your first TV was black and white… and it didn’t even have a remote.
  45. You’re so old that your birthstone is lava.
  46. You’re so old that you remember when the moon was just a rumor.
  47. You’re so old that you were on the first name basis with the first coffee bean.
  48. You’re so old that you remember when gaming meant playing outside.
  49. You’re so old that you once lost your dinosaur in a game of hide and seek.
  50. You’re so old that you remember when “streaming” was just something a river did.
  51. You’re so old that you probably remember when you had to open a Thomas’ English Muffin with a fork. (Dr. Stall)

Enjoy these with a light heart and always gauge the situation to ensure it’s appropriate to share them!